Thought For Food

I’ll try to make this a regular weekly/fortnightly column, a slightly serious one. Every now and then , all of us have this moment of inspiration, this idea that comes out of nowhere. We have this sudden social responsibility, the need to feel like the hero from Shankar movies. This could happen at any moment – a walk in the park, a ride in the auto, sitting on the pot etc.

Well , I heard once that behind a bunch of very screwed up ideas lies the beginning of the great one (now don’t go extrapolating it to men-women you twisted folks). So let it begin. I’m going to share a few thoughts and keep it open ended. I’d love to hear your comments, modifications , improvements on them. Do spread the kind word and lets try to get as many new perspectives as we can! Of course they might sound insanely crazy , but what the heck! In future we might see variations on the same, and if that’s the case, I’d like to be the first to trademark it right here. Y’all are the proof. Just don’t shoot me if this has already been done.

This edition deals with the the basic needs of mobility and transportation in an increasingly crowded and chaotic place.

1. Buildings as part of road networks.

This one’s a wild one. Imagine if we were to design this big satellite town. What if all the major buildings, malls, apartments etc effectively start from 2-3 floors up , with a huge gap that is the ground floor? The ground floor are part of our road network all over the place. Vehicles can take turns THROUGH buildings!!!! Friggin weird isn’t it?? The 3rd floor of the buildings onwards – there are multi level car parks, generator area, air conditioning area, and what not- what we typically have on the basement level now. Thus, the ground level of the building would have nothing but support structures, and an area for ramps, lifts for pedestrians etc, the rest of the base would just have the continuation of the roads. This would help network our roads better, free turns , free flowing traffic. From the road, there will be 1 ramp to the 2nd floor of the building for cars that need parking in the building, and cars coming out. Sort of like this (a very very quick paintshop work,so dont blame me :

2.I was thinking that a BMP or other such municipalities can implement something like this to encourage walk-to-work or use less cars policy.

a. Neighbourhood-Work-Areas

Create small office spaces or areas in collaboration with a slew of companies, and encourage the employees living in that area to use this office space. Networking, access, security will be a challenge but still its a thought. If you notice – there are lots of places where you can go pay your water bills, electricity bills at one point. That is what i had in mind. What if the government actively participates in designing the corporate working environment as part of the whole ecosystem? That’s what I’m driving it.

b. Incentives for good Samaritans :

Create a process to incentivize walk-to-work or public-transport-use for corporate folks. Maybe something like amounting to tax reduction. The checks could be like bus-pass swipe cards on a daily basis , and other such simple documentation

c. Innovate services offered by the public transport.
I’m sure many of you guys know that the Bangalore volvos are actually quite decent, and that you can sms to a number and find out where the position of the next bus is. For all those who don’t know how to use it , click here.

That’s a “pull”based system. How about a “push” based system. Go to the organizations, and the interested employees are automatically registered for an SMS update system which will send you an SMS on the bus that YOU ARE interested in , in your route on a daily basis.

Other options – provide wireless connectivity in their buses! 🙂 And how about some live cricket etc on that beautiful flat screen.

Bring it on.

Paying Tribute to one of the great movies – Part I

(I’ll have part II up at some point of time in the future.)

Anyone who has lived through the 80s will have either seen, lived, experienced , or atleast heard of DISCO DANCER. After this phenomenal movie was released, a generation of Indians were classified into simple categories :

1. People who’ve been “Jimmy-ed”

2. People who haven’t

Those who fall in the second category thus spend the rest of their lives trying to get into category 1 on their own, or coerced by their families, friends and enemies alike. Disco Dancer was more than a movie. It was a mantra; a philosophy, a way of life in itself. That is the profound truth.

It depicted a world in which logic , common sense, dressing and eating etiquette , rules of war, method of romance, typical adulation of fan-dom, typical names of characters, common fear, appreciated forms of dance, laws of physics, and much much more of what you believe in, ALL CEASED TO EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY. This movie operated in a parallel universe, there were no rules. This movie dared us to dream beyond the conventional. This movie gave humankind hope and reason. And most importantly – this movie made us dance. Here are some wonderful tit-bits:

1. The name of the hero of the movie (beloved Mithun) is Anil, who is later given the stage name of Jimmy. Anil?!?! WTF?! Before or after this movie , I’ve never ever encountered “Anil” as the name of a hero in the movie. Don’t get me wrong all you “Anil”s out there. I’ve got nothing against you. But Anil is simply NOT a movie name that inspires romance, fights , affection. It’s what we call squirrels or something as insignificant. And Jimmy as a celebrity name? That’s as canine as it gets. I can almost picture him growing a tail as he dances away into the twilight.

Real world implications: It taught me and millions of others with not-so-cool names that if “Anil” can make it big, SO CAN WE.

2. The rest of the names of the characters in the movie goes like this : Sam, Rita ,Raju, Nikki Brown, David Brown(!!!!), Vasco , International Hit-Man (I’m not kidding) etc. Blame the parents . I mean, anytime you decide to name your kid “International Hit-Man” , you’ve pretty much decided that he’s going to be a bad dude who’s gonna get in trouble with the law growing up.

3. Everyone seems to be suffering from some paralytic neck stroke that Rajesh Khanna has spread. They all shake their heads at 125 vibrations/minute. There’s so much pendulous energy throughout the movie that it makes you feel nauseated. In a strangely twisted way, I think it actually produces some musical notes and it adds to the psychedelic effect.

4. The birth of new musical instruments and ways of creating music. This includes tune-tubes, giant testicular bongos and what not (See attached pictures).

5. Guest Appearance concept – This movie gave birth to the concept of a guest role. Here’s how it goes. You want to go from Point A of the movie to Point B, but you’ve exhausted any plausible explanation. What do you do?Why, Introduce a guest star dammit! That is precisely Rajesh Khanna aka Raju aka The Human Head Vibrator’s role is in this movie. He appears in the first couple of scenes in the movie- feeding little Anil with his hands, teaching him how to make music out of ANY inanimate object and tapping the musical potential in him, and promptly disappears. In the climax scene, he magically re-appears, telling Jimmy to be a Man again, and of course sacrifices himself. Why? I guess we as viewers wouldn’t have managed to digest it if RK had lived on. See attached pictures for a detailed break-up of the climax scenes.

6. Stunning Clothes. If not for this movie and those inspired by this one, the world would never ever have costume parties. The heroine appears in such appalling apparel throughout the movie that one is forced to think that her wardrobe entirely consists of jumpsuits suitable for extra-terrestrial exploration. The children and men in the movie wear such skin tight and high pants that they probably squeeze their balls back into their bodies and push them up to the kidneys.

7. Adoring fans: Jimmy the disco dancer is sure a hit with the ladies and gents of yesteryear. But a closer look makes you wonder what exactly is happening . The way the women scream and the expressions they have on their faces convinces you that they are actually watching Jimmy eat himself on stage. Coupled with that, Jimmy struts his electric guitar and grooves all around the auditorium covering atleast 8 kilometres every concert. I guess the entire audience gets tied up and entangled with what must surely be the longest guitar cord in the universe.

More later. Have a look at the pictures attached, click on them if they aren’t clear enough. Watch the movie.

Strange Musical Instruments:

Cause and Effect:

ET in India:

Karate Kid:

The Physics of the last scene: