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Posts Tagged ‘bhajji’

Thursday Conversations

Posted by farkandfunk on March 5, 2008

( Rated “R” for language. Note to all those who read- nothing personal and this is not intended to be true! )

A conversation between Ponting, Hayden and the irrepressible Geoffrey Boycott.

ponting2.jpgHey mai’te , how’z it goin today?

gb2.jpgDON’T “MAI’TE” ME YOUNG MAN. YOU BETTER HAVE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

ponting2.jpg o.k. I’ve got Mathew Hayden here along with me. You know Matt – my fellow Aussie.

gb2.jpgASSWHO? YEAH I DO. A MONSTER OF A MAN. A BEAST. AN ANIMAL

ponting2.jpg He is , isn’t he.

gb2.jpgHE PROBABLY IS A NEANDERTHAL. HE LOOKS LIKE KING KONG ON STEROIDS.

ponting2.jpg Now hold on just a second Sir! You’re crossing the-

gb2.jpg THE WHAT? WHAT HO? YOU’RE GOING TO CRY FOUL NOW ON ME? STOP ACTING LIKE A SISSY LAD. DON’T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH AND GIVE YOURSELF A WEDGIE.

ponting2.jpg *tsk*

gb2.jpg YOU WEAR PANTIES?

ponting2.jpg What? No!

gb2.jpg OK. SO WHERE’S HE?

hayden4.jpg *hmph*

gb2.jpg *farts*

hayden4.jpg:

gb2.jpg :

hayden4.jpg: Hey punter. Hey there “mai’te”

gb2.jpg DON’T “MAI’TE” ME YOUNG MAN. YOU AND YOUR PUNTER CAN MATE EACH OTHER IF YOU’RE SO KEEN ON HAVING A ROMP. GOOD LORD YOU’RE A PIECE OF WORK MAN. IS THAT A REAL FACE OR A CARICATURE? YOU LOOK LIKE SOMETHING THAT ARJUNA RANATUNGA ATE AND SPIT OUT OF HIS GUTS.

hayden4.jpg what th-?

gb2.jpg SO WHAT’S UP “GAYDEN”. HYUK HYUK. THATS FUNNY.

ponting2.jpg *giggles*

gb2.jpg WHAT’S THE MATTER LAD? YOU DON’T THINK THATS FUNNY?

hayden4.jpg That’s insulting.

gb2.jpg IT’S FUNNIER THAN YOUR FACE. IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AS FUNNY AS PONTING’S BATTING AVERAGE AGAINST INDIA IN THE LAST SERIES.

ponting2.jpgNow wait a minute! I got that huge century in the league game against them.

gb2.jpgYEAH I GOT A CENTURY IN THE BODYLINE SERIES BEFORE WORLD WAR 2. STOP BRINGING THE PAST UP LADS. YOU GUYS WHINED MORE THAN AMISHA PATEL IN THE FINALS.

hayden4.jpg Well yeah. But look at our consis-

gb2.jpg CONSISTENCY CAN KISS MY HAIRY WHITE YORKSHIRE-BRED BUTTOCKS. GO HAVE A LOOK AT GABBA. I THINK YOU’LL STILL FIND M.S DHONI’S PISS ON THE FIELD, MARKING IT AS HIS TERRITORY.

ponting2.jpg That’s just not right!

gb2.jpg I ONCE TOOK A SHIT ON THE GABBA. IN THE 70S UNDER THE LIGHTS. BEST DUMP I EVER HAD.

hayden4.jpg Ouch… easy there ma’ite….

gb2.jpg STOP “MATING ME”.

hayden4.jpg Ok ok.. So what do you think of Symmo?

gb2.jpg THE WHAT.

hayden4.jpg You know, Andrew Symonds.

gb2.jpgOH HE’S GREAT. YOU AND “SYMMO” CAN COPULATE WITH EACH OTHER.

hayden4.jpg What the-?

gb2.jpg HYUK HYUK. I’M FUNNY.

ponting2.jpg*giggles*

gb2.jpg SYMONDS WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO EITHER FEEL UP CRICKET AUSTRALIA’S BOARD MEMBERS OR A MALE STREAKER ON THE PITCH.

hayden4.jpg well, all the controversy put him under intense pressure –

gb2.jpgI WISH I HAD INTENSE PRESSURE THESE DAYS. IT WOULD DO WONDERS TO MY BOWEL MOVEMENTS.

hayden4.jpg You, sir, are disgusting. Didn’t you once score a double century in a test but get dropped for slow run rate?

gb2.jpg IT WAS AGAINST INDIA. HELL YEA I WAS SLOW AND STEADY. IMPENETRABLE DEFENSE. EVEN WARNIE THE NYMPHOMANIAC WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO PENETRATE IT WITH HIS BAT OR OTHERWISE.

ponting2.jpg*giggles*

gb2.jpg HYUK. THAT WAS FUNNY. SO HOW DID YOUR BOXING MATCH GO? DID HARBHAJAN KNOCK YOUR TESTICLES OUT YET?

hayden4.jpg It was against Ishant Sharma. That tall lad.

gb2.jpg HE LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN JASON GILLESPE AND ZAYED KHAN. YOU KNOW BOLLYWOOD?HELL I’D LIKE SOME “BOOTY” FROM THERE.

hayden4.jpg I whooped his arse.

gb2.jpg YOU COULDN’T WHOOP HIS POSTERIORS EVEN IF HE HAD HIS WHOLE ANOTOMY CHANGED AND CONSISTED OF ONLY A WALKING , TALKING PAIR OF BUTTOCKS. YOU’RE A LIAR AND A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP. AND YOU SMELL LIKE A WET FUNGAL SOCK.

hayden4.jpg You’re terrible! I’m out of here!

ponting2.jpg Me too! I’m depressed and out of form.
gb2.jpg NO. YOU’RE GAY, AND YOU JUST SUCK . AND I’M A FRIGGIN YORKSHIREMAN , LADS!

 

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Posted in Thursday Convo | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Aggronomics

Posted by farkandfunk on October 6, 2007

Let me go ahead and say it: I’m not a big fan of this “new-look” Desi team that we have here. Harbhajan and Sreesanth chanting war cries , taunting the opposition , and masquerading about in the field as little hulk-o-maniacs is quite laughable right now. Let’s talk about a aggression on the field :

1. Dravid, in a candid interview, spoke about his opinion about emotions and aggression and how he channelizes it. You can read about it here.

2. Ganguly , with his shirt-swirling at lords, his turning up late for the toss, and fearlessness on the field earned him the public tag of being one of the more emotional and aggressive captains on the field for India.

Now that is aggression. Aggression is getting under the skin and affecting the psyche of the opposition in a not-too-direct and demeaning way. 15 year old kids nowadays can churn out the cream of the crop expletives these days, perform a dumb silk smitha -like body and booty shaking dance, engage in a verbal combat, just to end up looking like sissies when given back the same.

That seems to be the case here. The Indian team chose to stink up the joint with their performances and behavior on the field with the Aussies, and you have to taste your own bitter medicine. Whining about it like a school-girl does NOT help – and that’s what clowns like Harbhajan seem to be doing. It pisses me off when you don’t back up your words with some performances. Talk is cheap.

Word to the team: the T-20 is over. Get over it. Nobody gave it a rats ass till you reached the semis and beat pakistan. The performance was commendable , but let’s see it translate to all forms of the game at a consistent level. There are only 9 (NINE) friggin’ teams that play cricket seriously in this world. India’s cricket-playing population ALONE is probably bigger than that of the current world-champs and a few other teams put together.

Word to selectors/administrators: Stop rewarding individuals for heaven’s sake . Don’t turn them into attention whores.

Word to Sreesanth, Bhajji : Shut the fuck up , and start performing on a consistent basis first.

Crying girl

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »